Sigh....Memories

Sigh….memories.  When I was just a young punk, I had a group of friends that I didn’t (and really was too immature to) appreciate while we were all together.  And now that I think about it, I don’t think I ever appreciated any of the friends that I had in my life, like I should have.  In my many years (I won’t say how many!!), I’ve been confused by people that have been friends since grade school or high school.  How do they stay in touch?!  How do they find the time to get together while working a full time job (plus commute) and having a relationship and having family expectations and errands and unexpected occurrences, etc…!!!!????  I have failed miserably in that challenge.  I don’t think I necessarily pushed everyone away or dropped them like hotcakes, but I genuinely didn’t make a valiant effort to keep these people in my life.  This move to New York has made me start to look back and reflect on my life in California.  I did have a few wonderful groups of friends in my life, but I’m going to reflect on a certain group.  The group that I spent a lot of time with when I was really young and living on my own and single and working hard and in “party mode”!  We always had a good time together.  A big group, a few guitars and lots of beer & cigarettes.  I have to admit, I don’t remember the things we talked about, but we always had things to talk about.  I don’t remember the jokes we told, but we were always laughing.  Looking back, our time together was almost always the same, but was always fresh and fun.  Sigh…

Fast forward 8 years.  Thank goodness for Facebook!  Being able to re-connect with people from looooooonnnnnggggg ago and not just seeing what they’ve been up to, but being able to really connect again.  I recently reconnected with an old friend that I haven’t been in contact with in 8 years.  My fault.  I got into a relationship (still in that relationship and will be getting married soon) and I moved about an hour away and just fell away from everyone.  On Facebook, we became “friends” again, as I had with a few other people from that group (who I will now refer to as my Lost Boys) but like with the others, we didn’t really talk that much.  Yes, I missed him and let him know and we texted here and there, catching up a bit.  Then…..he had a show.  A “rock & roll” show.  I got my Facebook event invite and replied “Maybe”.  With my work schedule and family commitments and blah blah blah, could I make it?  I was doing it again.  I wasn’t making friendship a priority.  I still wasn’t even putting it on my list of things to do.  I realized this and told myself I was going no matter what!!!  I wanted to see this old friend of mine!  So, I drove to Huntington Beach, to a bar/restaurant called Pelican Isle to see my friend and his band play. 

I arrived a little after 8pm to a small strip mall and see an even tinier entrance to Pelican Isle to my right. 

Immediately to my left, as I’m driving, I see my friend getting out of his car!  I stop and wave and the series of facial expressions on his face start cracking me up!  Confusion of “who is this person trying to get my attention?”.  Skepticism of “I think I know this person, but do I really?”.  Surprise of “She actually came?”.  And then my favorite…Happiness.  A big smile that matched my own.  I parked and got out and got one of the biggest bear hugs I’ve ever got in my life and as I’m smiling and hugging, I’m mentally kicking myself for waiting so long to see a good friend.  The evening in a nutshell was amazing.  I saw another old good friend that I was friends with in high school, and actually went thru a lot together in another group (the high school group), so technically he was part of two amazing group of friends in my life. 

The band, Kill Your Generation, was FANTASTIC!!  I actually got mad at them because they haven’t put together a CD yet and I really, really wanted to have a CD to listen to.  They played original music and had more talent than a lot of the music on the radio today!!  I highly suggest everyone catch a show of theirs and see how a live show should be! 

To finish the night, we grabbed a beer and hung outside by the harbor and just talked and laughed and as my friend put it, “picked up exactly where we left off.”  I couldn’t have said it better myself.  Such a great night and really a great life lesson for me.  I was lucky to have these people as friends 8 years ago and was even more lucky that they allowed me to come around again and to pick up where we left off.  Naturally and drama free.  It made me think about how lucky a person can be to have people in their lives that just accept them for who they are and don’t ask them (or expect them) to be anything other than what they are.  I learned a lot from them that night, the light bulb above my head going off with how important it is to appreciate those people that never ask for anything and always accept unconditionally.  Lost Boys, you are amazing!  Sigh….good times….